Earlier this year, I was out for lunch with a few good friends. As we were talking, one of them shared that she was bothered by something her husband often says to her. But then she tried to laugh it off and said, “I know he’s just kidding.” Yet, her body language and the tone of her voice indicated that wasn’t true.
Because of my experience as a life coach, I saw through this; I recognized it as an example of how we lie to ourselves (and others) without realizing it. Unfortunately, we often voice our honest thoughts or feelings and then brush them aside.
I’ve learned that’s especially true when we’re hurt or afraid. That stands to reason, since it’s easier to express that we’re mad, rather than admit that we’re hurt.
However, when we fail to own our true feelings, we perpetuate dishonesty. And that’s a big problem, because dishonesty is damaging to any relationship. Have you stopped to consider where you’re being dishonest, and consequently, preventing relationships that thrive?
A powerful verse of Scripture is Proverbs 4:23, which tells us to guard our hearts. I’m doubtful that we can guard our hearts if we’re not being honest about our feelings.
So today, I’m taking an inventory of my own life; I’m looking at situations where I tend to hide, rather than sharing my honest thoughts, feelings, wants or needs. I know that pinpointing those situations is the first step to changing them.
The good news, is that today’s a new opportunity to value and voice our feelings. If we’re brave enough to do so, we can bypass the clutter of dishonesty, which can help us to enjoy happier, healthier and more productive relationships – in other words, to live wholeheartedly.
Question to ponder: In what areas of your life might you be lying to yourself (or others) about your true thoughts, feelings, wants or needs?