I’d Thought I’d Overcome This, But Apparently Not

Perfectionism…pride…impatience. Shall I add to the list of potential unresolved issues?

The past six months I poured my heart and soul into writing a manuscript. Amidst many of life’s unexpected challenges – including cancer and repeated hospital stays with my husband, I continued to persevere and finally finished it.

Then I went through the publishing experience.

Even though this wasn’t my first book, I chose a new route for the publishing process – and there were a lot of hiccups. It’s a long story and I’ll spare you the details, but even though I’d not yet marketed it, 40 people purchased a copy that hadn’t been edited! Therefore, it was full of errors!

That was really hard for one who is a self-prescribed recovering perfectionist.

You see I grew up with the belief that my value was based upon my performance – and nothing less than perfection was acceptable. Apparently, I’m still learning to get free of that old mindset.

There have been moments when I’d been tempted to tell myself I wasn’t good enough and that I had no business writing a book.

However, I did what I teach my coaching clients to do; I validated my honest feelings, identified what I could learn from the experience, AND was a supportive fan to myself; I treated myself like a good friend.

I told myself that I had every right to feel frustrated, embarrassed and weary; I worked hard and the initial product didn’t meet my expectations. And, I knew I’d done the best I could, given the circumstances at the time.

I feel good about my hard work and my perseverance to do what I felt God wanted me to do; I wrote the story of my emotional and spiritual development (including steps to develop wholehearted relationships with yourself and with God) in the hope it would inspire and encourage others.

Therefore, I’m choosing to see this as a growing experience – and I’m humbly asking for your patience and understanding. For those who purchased a copy of my book prior to April 1st,  please contact me here and I’ll replace your copy with the finished, polished product.

It’s not perfect, but the beginning of this year I felt certain that 2020 would be a year of many miracles. At this point, I feel like getting this book in people’s hands – in the shape I’d imagined – is one of those miracles.

In the process, I learned how perfectionism, pride and impatience still occasionally rear their  ugly head and…I’m still a work in progress. What about you?

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