After coaching for nearly two decades I’ve had the joy of getting to know a wide variety of women.  Not surprisingly, I recognize parts of myself in many of them.  We all have strengths and areas for potential growth.  In other words, we’re all a “work-in-progress.”

However, I’ve recently noticed an increase of Facebook posts and articles from women who seem to be very angry.  These women have a need to prove something, like how strong they are.

Through my coaching experience, I’ve learned that anger is usually a sign of clutter.  We all have clutter.  We carry hurts, humiliations and hungers, from our past and present.  The problem is that unless and until we deal with it, our clutter will contaminate our present and future.

Much like peanut butter and jelly, anger and fear often go together.  Women who believe they’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough or are lacking in some other way, are often fearful – usually of rejection.  Sadly, they fail to see that they’re the ones doing the rejecting, and it’s themselves they’re rejecting!

To become a strong woman, you must develop a healthy relationship with yourself.  To do so, requires decluttering.  In other words, getting rid of the “stuff” that weights you down and prevents you from living wholeheartedly.

No longer your own biggest critic, you can become an avid fan and as a result, gain confidence in who you are.  That newfound confidence frees you from caring so much about what others think.  It also frees you from having to prove anything (to yourself or to others).

Another benefit of decluttering, is that you no longer need to push yourself to achieve ridiculous, over-the-top goals.  For example, instead of punishing yourself with extreme workouts you can experience the joy of an active lifestyle.  Rather than making exercise a form of punishment, it can become a form of nurturing the woman God created in YOU.

I’ve often defined living wholeheartedly as:  Living with nothing to hide, nothing to fear, nothing to prove and nothing to lose.  I would suggest all of those are qualities of a strong and healthy woman – in other words, a woman who lives wholeheartedly.