In late February of 2020, my husband (Ted) and I were at Mayo Hospital in Rochester. For the past 3 ½ years, he’d been battling pancreatic cancer and things had been going fairly well. However, that day, we learned there were several tumors in his brain.
Less than six months later, on August 23rd, he passed away. He took his last breath with me beside him, resting comfortably at home in his favorite reclining chair. Needless to say, I was devastated to lose the love of my life. I lost the greatest man I’d ever known, my best friend and the one who’d continually loved me better than I deserved.
AND, at the very same time, I also felt a sense of peace and inexpressible joy. I mean, what more could you want than to know than the one you love so much, is in the presence of our Heavenly father?
In addition, throughout the past 2 ½ years, I’ve learned something pretty significant; I’ve learned to acknowledge and validate two seemingly conflicting feelings at the very same time.
For example, I’ve learned how to more effectively acknowledge when I’m feeling sad, lonely and melancholy. AND, at the same time, that I’m feeling peaceful, happy and blessed.
I’ve also learned more intimately, that God’s ways are not our ways; I’ve learned to appreciate that about Him – even in the midst of ongoing grief. I know God didn’t cause Ted’s cancer. I also know that God is using everything for a greater good; I can literally feel it every day.
What about you? What have YOU learned since August 23rd, 2020?
1 Peter 1:8 You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.